The Simple List That May Change Your Life


Stacy and MamaI can’t believe you have gotten SO FAT. You are so stupid! You’ll never be able to do that. You look older every day. I really, really hate you.

If you’re like most women, you would never utter these words to your best friend, daughter or even your worst enemy. But sadly, we endure daily torture with an on-going assembly line of negative thoughts about ourselves. As fast as one piercing thought disappears, another one is on its way. The onslaught of negativity leaves us feeling unattractive, unworthy and emotionally exhausted.

My friend Stacy recently heard that you should write down everything you love about yourself and read it often. She thought it would be a great idea until she took out a pen and paper. She looked at me with tears in her eyes and said she struggled to find ANYTHING to write down.

I was flabbergasted. Stacy is one of the most amazing women I know. She is strong, smart, funny, loving, beautiful, compassionate, forgiving, loyal and honest. She generously shares her amazing soul with both friends and strangers. Oh, and did I say she loves dogs?

If I were to compare Stacy to an inanimate object, I would say she is a beautiful hot air balloon. Her heart is as big as the buoyant, colorful canopy and being with her lifts you so high into the world that when you look down from above, you appreciate just how beautiful everything in our world is.

Yet, she couldn’t think of a single thing to write on that damned piece of paper.

Welcome to the life of a typical woman.

We spend so much time criticizing our flaws that we have forgotten how to focus on who we really are and what makes us truly awesome. We are unique, wonderful creatures and it’s time we start believing it. While most of us may struggle writing down things we love about ourselves, the task is incredibly easy for our friends. Why? Because they look at us with a completely different set of lenses — one that visualizes love, not hatred.

All you need to do is recruit a best friend and each write down two lists: everything you love about yourself and everything you love about your friend. Meet up for coffee or a glass of wine and compare notes. Not only will this be a real eye-opener for both of you, it will crack your hearts open making it easier to love yourselves.

Post both lists where you will see them every day. Read them, listen to them and embrace them. And if you believe the words on the paper, get ready for this simple list to change your life.


With love…



  • Michele Bemis
    December 23, 2015

    Your comments really strike a cord, Molly, and your description of Stacy is spot on – she is all that you say and then some! I have never met a kinder, more beautiful and loving person (other than my Mom).
    Wishing you the Merriest and Happiest holidays ever!
    P.S. Great picture!!

  • Stacy
    December 23, 2015

    Wow, brings tears to my eyes all over again!! May we all love ourselves more in 2016!!

  • Ellen
    December 23, 2015

    I love this idea. Will definitely find someone to do this with…someone who I know would have good things to say and is a positive person in my life.

    Thanks, Molly!


  • Henrietta Rodriguez
    April 29, 2016

    Molly, thank you so much for the wonderful idea. I am actually planning a girlfriend get together with a few of my closest friends and this will be a perfect night to do this!! I am 57 years young and I still have these feelings of not being fat, weak, ugly and so on, but there are those special people in our lives that make us feel like we are worth a million bucks!!! Take Care and Thank you:)

    • April 29, 2016

      Thank you so much for taking the time to comment! I would love to hear about your time together with your friends…it’s a wonderful exercise 🙂

      Stay well….

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