We recently attended a Bat Mitzvah for Emma, the daughter of our very dear friends Diane and Bruce.  It was a wonderful experience—watching a beautiful girl go through the rites of passage towards becoming a young woman.  The maturity Emma displayed was not an act—Emma is wise beyond her years.  Since Emma was 9 years old, in lieu of Birthday gifts she asked that supplies be donated to a local animal shelter, PAWS (Philadelphia Animal Welfare Society).  If she received money in her Birthday card, she would donate that too.  She has a kind soul and is a loyal daughter and friend to others.  Emma is only 13 years old yet she is truly inspiring in so many ways.

Inside the program was this wonderful poem called “Here’s to the Woman”.  The author is unknown.

HERE’S TO THE WOMAN

…who knows where she’s going

and will keep on until she gets there;

who knows not only what she wants from life

but what she has to offer in return…

HERE’S TO THE WOMAN

who is loyal to family and friends,

who expects no more from others

than she is willing to give;

HERE’S TO THE WOMAN

who guides and inspires

not by quoting others’ philosophies but by living her own good example;

who accepts both victories and disappointments with the same grace,

and who can rise above life’s challenges and move on…

HERE’S TO THE WOMAN

who gives the gifts of her thoughtfulness,

who shows her caring with a word of support,

her understanding with a smile;

a woman who brings joy to others just by being herself…

Now take a moment to let these words soak in.  Take out a pen and paper and answer the following questions:

1. Do you have a clear vision of where you want to go and who you want to be in your lifetime?
2. Will you keep going no matter what?
3. Do you know how you want to give back to others?
4. Are you a loyal friend and family member?
5. Do you expect things from others and often end up feeling disappointed?
6. Do you feel like you’re living the life YOU want to live—being who you really are?
7. Are you proud of the way you treat others?
8. Do you handle aggravating situations with control or anger?
9. Do you bring joy to others by just being yourself?

Sadly, most of us spend more time and energy taking care of our “exteriors” while ignoring what’s going on the inside.  It’s so much easier to buy clothes and get a new haircut than it is to take the time to answer these questions—honestly and accurately.

Be Like Emma

Take the time to figure out who you are and where you’re going.  Embrace your true self and be proud of the way you treat others every day.

Emma brings joy to others by simply being herself and you can do the same.  Please share your story about an amazing woman (or girl) you know.  We would love to hear it.

Be Yourself and Smile,

Molly

Back in the early 80’s, I was your typical college student.  I went to school, had a job at the local sandwich shop (Joe’s Deli) and had a LOT of fun with my friends.  Every now and then, I would get “in a mood” and have to sing Carole King’s “Natural Woman”—made famous by the one and only Aretha Franklin.  I was usually with my best buds, Stacy and Guidi, when I belted out those lyrics while standing on top of a bar or coffee table.  Thankfully, my makeshift microphone was a flashlight or remote control and not real one!  It wasn’t always at bars when I acted out; I sang it once at a retirement community where I worked part-time—hopping from one person’s wheel chair to the next.  You can’t help but feel beautiful and empowered when you’re singing that song.

Fast forward 20 plus years, my husband and I were lucky enough to score tickets to the James Taylor-Carole King Troubadour Reunion Tour.  I have always loved JT, but for me, Carole stole the show.  She got a standing ovation for her rendition of “Natural Woman” which I must admit was a wee bit better than mine.  It sure brought back a lot of great memories.

Carole’s passion equals her amazing talent—at 68 years old she rocked the show. You heard me—68!   All the women in the restroom during the intermission could not stop talking about what an inspiration she is to all women.  Amazingly talented yet extremely grounded.  Her energy alone would make a twenty year old jealous!

Her lyrics are inspirational and real.  As I was listening to the concert, I felt like Carole and James were giving us some wonderful life lessons—ones we can all learn from.  Feel free to sing as you read:

Lesson # 1:

You’ve got to get up every morning with a smile on your face
And show the world all the love in your heart
Then people gonna treat you better
You’re gonna find, yes you will
That you’re beautiful as you feel

(from “Beautiful—a song we should wake up listening to every day)

Lesson # 2

Shower the people you love with love—show them the way that you feel

 (from “Shower the People” written by James Taylor)

Lesson #3

When you’re down and troubled
And you need some loving care
And nothing, nothing is going right
Close your eyes and think of me
And soon I will be there
To brighten up even your darkest night
You just call out my name
And you know wherever I am
I’ll come running to see you again
Winter, spring, summer or fall
All you have to do is call
And I’ll be there, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You’ve got a friend

(from “You’ve Got a Friend” which was made famous by JT but written by Carole)

Lesson #4

Wake up every morning with a smile and show the world all the love in your heart.  Shower the people you love with love.  Remind your loved ones that you will always be there for them.  And always be a natural woman.

What do you want to be doing when you’re 68 years old?  Feeling sad because time is passing you by so quickly or standing on a coffee table belting out your favorite song?

I think I know where I’ll be.  Anyone want to join me?

Molly

How many times a day do you have negative thoughts about yourself? Count them all.  Like when you glance at yourself in the mirror and see something you don’t like or when you get aggravated at yourself for doing something stupid—like forgetting to bring your grocery list to the store.

I ask this question to my clients and get some scary numbers.  One woman told me that she had about 50 negative thoughts about herself each day.  50!  If you have 50 negative thoughts per day, this translates into 350 bad thoughts per week—and over 1400 per month.  How can you possibly stay positive about yourself when you’re feeding your brain all these horrible thoughts?

Changing the way you think is not easy—but it can be done.  Like changing any bad habit, it takes time, patience and a lot of work.  If you struggle with negative thoughts, I suggest you read the book The Secret by Rhonda Bynre.  While parts of the book are a bit cheesy—like the author not needing reading glasses anymore because she convinced her brain that her sight was perfect. I tried telling my 46 year old eyes that for a few weeks but I still can’t read the label on my conditioner in the shower. But the book is worth reading and I’m sure you will come away with some really good ways to become a more positive person. 

The following are some of my favorite messages in her book:

“You have the power to change anything, because you are the one who chooses your thoughts and you are the one who feels your feelings.”

“Your current reality or your current life is a result of the thoughts you’ve been thinking.  All of that will totally change as you begin to change your thoughts and your feelings.”

“If you think unkind thoughts about someone else, you will experience those unkind thoughts manifested.  You cannot harm another with your thoughts, you only harm YOU.”

Some women who think negatively about themselves are also extremely negative towards other people. My friend Christine calls them “Energy Drainers” because after spending time with the person, you feel like the life has been sucked out of you.  Energy Drainers are not happy when others succeed. If you know someone like this, just remember that their unhappiness is theirs—not yours.  You don’t need to own any of it.

Cliff Clavin, the famous postal worker from Cheers, was always negative.  It got so bad that he asked his doctor to adhere electrical probes to his body that would give him a shock every time he said something negative.  Take a few extra minutes and watch this hilarious piece about the extremes Cliff took to try to stop his negativity!   I hope you don’t need to take such drastic measures!  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KZag1zlecGI

Think Happy Thoughts,

Molly