How often do you find yourself upset over small, insignificant things?  It happens to me sometimes, and I must admit, I hate it when I let that happen.  It’s a double whammy because I allow myself to get mad about something that doesn’t matter THEN I get angry at myself for being upset in the first place.  Talk about a complete waste of energy!

How do you stop those feelings from ever getting to that point?  And when is it okay to allow yourself to be upset?

Nobody’s perfect.  In a perfect world, we’d all walk around with smiles on our faces and be happy all of the time.  But that’s not the way life works.  We have good days.  We have bad days.  On most days, we have both good and bad things happen—it’s just the way it goes.  So many things are simply out of our control.  So what CAN we control?

We can control the way we interpret and handle situations.  I am learning this slowly but surely.  Two weeks ago we experienced a flood in our house.  Water was pouring into our kitchen.  The water we couldn’t collect was cascading into our basement.  We recently finished a big renovation of our home and this made the water intrusion even more painful.

A little over a year ago, this episode would have devastated me. But fortunately, perspective was with me that evening.  We calmly (yet hurriedly) worked to empty huge bins of water from our kitchen, used every towel in the house to soak up other wet areas and made the appropriate phone calls.  When the insurance company said they’d send someone out, I told my husband that we could wait until the morning, knowing that other people had much worse problems than we did.  An enormous amount of rain came down that night.

As we were cleaning up, I kept thinking about the people in Japan who had been victims of the devastating earthquake and tsunami.  I thought about people in the Midwest who have lost their homes during this incredibly violent tornado season.  I thought about our friend’s brother who lost his house in New Zealand to an earthquake.  Not only did he lose his house, he lost the lot that it once sat upon.  Can you even imagine?  Even though our house was a mess, we had a bed and a roof over our heads.  We were safe.  No one was hurt or missing.  It wasn’t that bad.

Losing your home would be horrible.  But losing someone you love would be devastating.

So the next time something bad starts to happen, try to put it in perspective immediately.  Ask yourself the following questions:

1. Is everyone safe and out of harm’s way?
2. Is this problem fixable?
3. How could this be worse?

It’s amazing how differently you’ll look at the bad things that happen in your life.  Please share your stories about how you deal with life’s more difficult days.

Smile & Keep Perspective,

Molly

If you want to know the secret to a happy life, ask someone who has lived one.  That’s exactly what John Izzo did.  He interviewed over 200 people, ages 60-106, each of whom was identified by friends and acquaintances as “the one person they knew who had found happiness and meaning.” Happiness came from all walks of life:   town barbers,  Holocaust survivors, aboriginal chiefs and CEO’s.

In Izzo’s book, “The Five Secrets You Must Discover Before You Die”, he repeated a wonderful story from Navajo tradition that you should ponder.

An old Navajo told his grandson that sometimes he feels there is a fight that is going on inside him.   He said it is a fight between two wolves.   “One wolf is evil.  It is the wolf of anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, superiority, fear of healing my body and mind, fear of succeeding, fear of exploring what has been said by others to be truth, fear of walking in others’ moccasins and seeing glimpses of their reality through their eyes and their hearts, using empty excuses that my heart knows to be false.

The other wolf is good.  It is the wolf of joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, empathy, caring for those who have helped me even though their efforts have not always been perfect, the willingness to forgive myself and others, and realizing that my destiny is in my hands”.

The grandson thought about it and asked, “But grandfather, which wolf wins?”

His grandfather replied, “The wolf that I choose to feed.”

To live a happy life, simply choose to feed the good wolf .  Which wolf have you been feeding?

Molly

Life is funny.  One minute you’re an awkward teenager and the next you’re hitting the mid-century mark. There are many years between those two moments yet they seem so close together.  While time is flying by, the changes and growth you experience over those years is tremendous.

When I was in my 20′s, I thought people in their 50′s seemed really old. As I approach my “half-way point”, not only do I believe that the 50′s are the new 30′s,  I believe that the next 10 years will be the best I’ve ever experienced.  We may not have smooth, unwrinkled skin like we did in our 20’s and 30’s, but we become powerful and wise.  We learn to appreciate everything in our lives because, so often, we’ve seen loved ones ripped away from our friends and family prematurely.

When looking back at the first half of your life, whether you’re 30 years old or 70, do you want to continue on the same path you’ve been following or do you want to travel down a road that’s new to you?   Will you feel good about yourself and the way you’ve lived your life when it’s your time to leave this earth?

Ask yourself the following questions: 

1. Do I support my friends and family or do I sometimes secretly wish they’d fail?
2. Are there people in my life who bring out feelings of jealousy or hatred?
3. Do I love myself?

I ask you these three questions because they are vitally important to your happiness.  If you secretly feel jealousy or wish for a friend or loved one to fail, this is a very unhealthy situation for YOU!  Any time you have bad feelings towards someone else, all is does it harm you.  If you send love to these people, then love and goodness is what you’ll get in return.

Two years ago, I felt hatred and anger towards a neighbor.  She used her political power to force us tear down a beautiful brick wall on our house.  I was so angry that just the sight of her made my blood boil. It changed me.  It caused me to pick fights with my husband and I felt as if toxic venom was running through my veins.  I had never experienced feelings of hatred like that before.

One day I decided that she had stolen enough of my energy.  But the reality was this:  she didn’t steal my energy.  I made a choice to be angry and let the situation turn me into someone I didn’t like.  So I turned all my anger into good thoughts about this person.  I wished her happiness every single day even though, at first, it wasn’t easy. About a week later, I felt all of my anger melt away.  I haven’t felt even a twinge of anger or resentment since that day.

So, the last question is whether or not you love yourself.  You may not even know the answer to this.  If you’re not sending love to others on a consistent basis, it’s impossible to love yourself the way you can and should.

If you’re feeling any toxic or unhealthy thoughts, it’s time to let them go. Change the way you think…send lots of love…you’ll receive it back tenfold.  It’s really that simple.

Send Love,

Molly