We recently attended a Bat Mitzvah for Emma, the daughter of our very dear friends Diane and Bruce.  It was a wonderful experience—watching a beautiful girl go through the rites of passage towards becoming a young woman.  The maturity Emma displayed was not an act—Emma is wise beyond her years.  Since Emma was 9 years old, in lieu of Birthday gifts she asked that supplies be donated to a local animal shelter, PAWS (Philadelphia Animal Welfare Society).  If she received money in her Birthday card, she would donate that too.  She has a kind soul and is a loyal daughter and friend to others.  Emma is only 13 years old yet she is truly inspiring in so many ways.

Inside the program was this wonderful poem called “Here’s to the Woman”.  The author is unknown.

HERE’S TO THE WOMAN

…who knows where she’s going

and will keep on until she gets there;

who knows not only what she wants from life

but what she has to offer in return…

HERE’S TO THE WOMAN

who is loyal to family and friends,

who expects no more from others

than she is willing to give;

HERE’S TO THE WOMAN

who guides and inspires

not by quoting others’ philosophies but by living her own good example;

who accepts both victories and disappointments with the same grace,

and who can rise above life’s challenges and move on…

HERE’S TO THE WOMAN

who gives the gifts of her thoughtfulness,

who shows her caring with a word of support,

her understanding with a smile;

a woman who brings joy to others just by being herself…

Now take a moment to let these words soak in.  Take out a pen and paper and answer the following questions:

1. Do you have a clear vision of where you want to go and who you want to be in your lifetime?
2. Will you keep going no matter what?
3. Do you know how you want to give back to others?
4. Are you a loyal friend and family member?
5. Do you expect things from others and often end up feeling disappointed?
6. Do you feel like you’re living the life YOU want to live—being who you really are?
7. Are you proud of the way you treat others?
8. Do you handle aggravating situations with control or anger?
9. Do you bring joy to others by just being yourself?

Sadly, most of us spend more time and energy taking care of our “exteriors” while ignoring what’s going on the inside.  It’s so much easier to buy clothes and get a new haircut than it is to take the time to answer these questions—honestly and accurately.

Be Like Emma

Take the time to figure out who you are and where you’re going.  Embrace your true self and be proud of the way you treat others every day.

Emma brings joy to others by simply being herself and you can do the same.  Please share your story about an amazing woman (or girl) you know.  We would love to hear it.

Be Yourself and Smile,

Molly

Back in the early 80’s, I was your typical college student.  I went to school, had a job at the local sandwich shop (Joe’s Deli) and had a LOT of fun with my friends.  Every now and then, I would get “in a mood” and have to sing Carole King’s “Natural Woman”—made famous by the one and only Aretha Franklin.  I was usually with my best buds, Stacy and Guidi, when I belted out those lyrics while standing on top of a bar or coffee table.  Thankfully, my makeshift microphone was a flashlight or remote control and not real one!  It wasn’t always at bars when I acted out; I sang it once at a retirement community where I worked part-time—hopping from one person’s wheel chair to the next.  You can’t help but feel beautiful and empowered when you’re singing that song.

Fast forward 20 plus years, my husband and I were lucky enough to score tickets to the James Taylor-Carole King Troubadour Reunion Tour.  I have always loved JT, but for me, Carole stole the show.  She got a standing ovation for her rendition of “Natural Woman” which I must admit was a wee bit better than mine.  It sure brought back a lot of great memories.

Carole’s passion equals her amazing talent—at 68 years old she rocked the show. You heard me—68!   All the women in the restroom during the intermission could not stop talking about what an inspiration she is to all women.  Amazingly talented yet extremely grounded.  Her energy alone would make a twenty year old jealous!

Her lyrics are inspirational and real.  As I was listening to the concert, I felt like Carole and James were giving us some wonderful life lessons—ones we can all learn from.  Feel free to sing as you read:

Lesson # 1:

You’ve got to get up every morning with a smile on your face
And show the world all the love in your heart
Then people gonna treat you better
You’re gonna find, yes you will
That you’re beautiful as you feel

(from “Beautiful—a song we should wake up listening to every day)

Lesson # 2

Shower the people you love with love—show them the way that you feel

 (from “Shower the People” written by James Taylor)

Lesson #3

When you’re down and troubled
And you need some loving care
And nothing, nothing is going right
Close your eyes and think of me
And soon I will be there
To brighten up even your darkest night
You just call out my name
And you know wherever I am
I’ll come running to see you again
Winter, spring, summer or fall
All you have to do is call
And I’ll be there, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You’ve got a friend

(from “You’ve Got a Friend” which was made famous by JT but written by Carole)

Lesson #4

Wake up every morning with a smile and show the world all the love in your heart.  Shower the people you love with love.  Remind your loved ones that you will always be there for them.  And always be a natural woman.

What do you want to be doing when you’re 68 years old?  Feeling sad because time is passing you by so quickly or standing on a coffee table belting out your favorite song?

I think I know where I’ll be.  Anyone want to join me?

Molly

Look at the people in your life.  Most of them are acquaintances—people you know from work, the gym, or the grocery store.  You smile to them, say hi and make small talk.  You like them but you don’t really know them.  Then you have your “social” friends—people you know pretty well and enjoy spending time with.  You might go to Happy Hour or dinner with them.  You have fun with them but you don’t know them at a deeper, more personal level. 

Now think about your REAL friends.  They are friends who will be there for you no matter what.  They are supportive and loving—they truly care about your happiness the same way you do about theirs.  You know who these people are in your life. 

I met my first real friend in 6^th grade—Michele Rose.  Middle school was a very awkward time for me.  I was tall and skinny with no boobs—and, by the way, I STILL don’t have any .  Even though I was athletic, my lack of confidence made me an easy target for the other girls in school.  I was the “odd man out” and would come home from school crying every day—that is, until I met Michele.  She was the first person to stand up and believe in me.  She told the other girls they were being mean and instead of wanting to be with the “in-crowd”, she chose to hang out with me.  We have remained close all these years even though we only see each other about once a year.  When we do get together, it’s like we’ve never been apart.

Let’s fast forward to college.  After growing up in Ohio, I lived in Gainesville, Florida for a big chunk of my life—23 years.  I went to the University of Florida and never left.  I encouraged my parents and my brother to move to Gainesville so we could all be together.  I honestly thought I would always live there—my LIFE was there.  I couldn’t imagine being anywhere else.  But when my marriage fell apart, life in Gainesville felt very different to me.  I knew I had to leave but I couldn’t bear losing my close network of friends. 

Two years later, I moved to Philadelphia to start my new life.  Tears rolled down my face as I left the place I loved for so many years.  I knew I would make new friends, but I also knew it would now take tremendous effort (from both sides) to stay in touch.  I also was acutely aware that during this transition, I would find out who my real friends were.

After moving, my real friends made consistent efforts to show their love for me.  They checked on me via phone and email, they came up to visit me (sometimes as a complete surprise), and they sent cards.  Simply put, they showed me how much they cared.  They knew it was a difficult time for me and they showered me with the love and support I needed at the time.  

When you make a change like that in your life, it makes you realize who your real friends are.  And equally important, you discover that you can make new friends.  I’ve been fortunate to make some incredible friends in Philly.  And guess what?  I still have my friends in Gainesville.  Your real friends will always be there for you—even from a distance. 

But you have to make an effort. 

Relationships take work and effort.  Whether it’s a relationship with your spouse or your friends, you have to reach out and put energy into it.  Don’t EVER take your relationships for granted.  Don’t let your life consume you to the point that you’re neglecting an important person in your life.

Now take a moment to write down the names of your real friends on a sheet of paper.  Think about the last time you spoke to each person.   Call, email, send a card, or connect with them on Facebook.  Make their day by letting them know you’re thinking of them. 

Better yet, plan a weekend away with a small group of your friends.  Get everyone to agree on a date and put it on your calendar.  If you don’t write it down, life gets in the way and it will never happen. 

So take time out of your busy day to reach out to your friends and find time to make new ones.  Thanks to my “old” and “new” friends.  Sorry if your picture isn’t here–you guys know who you are…and you’re the best friends anyone could ever ask for. 

If you have an inspiring story about how your friends have helped you through a difficult time, please share it with us by posting your story.

Smile and Never Stop Appreciating Your Friends,

Molly